Why

This is quite hard for me to compose. why?

 Why did I make this blog? Why the shady title? and just, WHY?

 I often asked myself reasons as to why things are happening to me. And now, I am back again to asking myself, "what on earth is happening to me, and why is this happening to me?" 

 It had been a couple of months since I though of creating this blog. But, I came to realize that creating this blog means that I am counting down until the end. The end of what? Me. I pushed back me creating this blog because I wanted to give myself a chance and see if I have come to terms with me setting an ending. 

In this blog, I will not set a date, location or directions of when, where and how the end will occur. Instead, I will write down my daily struggles, thoughts and realizations. I seek not to finalize, but to decipher. I am to solidify my thoughts, to check if there is still another option for this. I still want to know the reasons why, but frankly, I'm getting tired of waiting for answers.

Though, am I really seeking answers? Am I throwing out questions for a definitive purpose... or just for the hell of it?

I know even thinking about it will secure me a place in hell.. but I do hope and pray that there is still hope for me somewhere in this world.

 Let's see. 

 On the next post, I will be stating a couple of reasons for this.. I do think some are reasonable. 

xx

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